F-ck Me Like the Government .... Gum

Ah, yes. Nothing says “sweet, minty freshness” quite like existential despair and a healthy dose of political sarcasm. This gum gets right to the point—with bold lettering that screams what we’re all thinking but only say after three drinks and a minor identity crisis.

Each piece is a minty little cry for help, individually wrapped for your convenience and your slowly unraveling sanity. Pop one in before a protest, a trip to the DMV, or Thanksgiving dinner with your libertarian uncle.

Perfect as a gag gift, a passive-aggressive desk accessory, or a very confusing stocking stuffer.

Candy-coated, peppermint-flavored gum. 8 pieces.